So it’s been quite some time since I have posted anything here, not really sure why. Perhaps because of the crazy amount of time my studies have taken up. The other day I had a friend talk about writing, and how he has been writing poetry. It reminded me of how much blogging helped me get through things. Through life.
Over the last few months in particular I have had a hard time dealing with a few family issues. Things that had been blown way out of proportion. Things that could have been avoided… if I wanted to be walked all over. However, being who I am, I didn’t want that to happen. I had to voice my opinions. It essentially got me into a bit of… trouble. To be honest, I think I was used as a scapegoat for someones frustration. That’s fine… but nothing good is coming out of it from my end. After all, if you can never forgive, why should those actions be something you expect of anyone else? Unfortunately this all stemmed from the loss of someone. My question to the world is this, what actions allow someone to behave in one which way they want? Apparently my answer of ‘never’ isn’t acceptable.
My solution is to… use the flight part of ‘flight or fight’. There is no point fighting with a losing battle. And it’s not a losing battle because I’m in the wrong, either. I’m not. It’s funny. A year ago I wouldn’t have been able to deal with this. And to be honest, it has been a challenge. But I’m dealing with it.
This last year has brought a lot of things into my life… and out of it as well. My anxiety, is slowly leaving me. I’m not too worried.